WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?! (post your own answer)

WHY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD?


Plato: For the greater good.

Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.

Machiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with admiration,
as a chicken which has the daring and courage to
boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom
among them has the strength to contend with such a
paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the
princely chicken's dominion maintained.

Hippocrates: Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its
pancreas.

Jacques Derrida: Any number of contending discourses may be discovered
within the act of the chicken crossing the road, and
each interpretation is equally valid as the authorial
intent can never be discerned, because structuralism
is DEAD, DAMMIT, DEAD!

Thomas de Torquemada: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.

Timothy Leary: Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment
would let it take.

Douglas Adams: Forty-two.

Nietzsche: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road
gazes also across you.

Oliver North: National Security was at stake.

B.F. Skinner: Because the external influences which had pervaded its
sensorium from birth had caused it to develop in such a
fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while
believing these actions to be of its own free will.

Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt
necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at
this historical juncture, and therefore
synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.

Jean-Paul Sartre: In order to act in good faith and be true to itself,
the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.

Ludwig Wittgenstein: The possibility of "crossing" was encoded into the
objects "chicken" and "road", and circumstances came
into being which caused the actualization of this
potential occurrence.

Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed
the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

Aristotle: To actualize its potential.

Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-
nature.

Howard Cosell: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing
events to grace the annals of history. An historic,
unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt
such an herculean achievement formerly relegated to
homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurence.

Salvador Dali: The Fish.

Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from
the trees.

Emily Dickinson: Because it could not stop for death.

Epicurus: For fun.

Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.

Johann von Goethe: The eternal hen-principle made it do it.

Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.

Werner Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken
was on, but it was moving very fast.

David Hume: Out of custom and habit.

Jack Nicholson: 'Cause it (censored) wanted to. That's the (censored)
reason.

Pyrrho the Skeptic: What road?

Ronald Reagan: I forget.

John Sununu: The Air Force was only too happy to provide the
transportation, so quite understandably the chicken
availed himself of the opportunity.

The Sphinx: You tell me.

Mr. T: If you saw me coming you'd cross the road too!

Henry David Thoreau: To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow
out of life.

Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.

Molly Yard: It was a hen!

Zeno of Elea: To prove it could never reach the other side.

Chaucer: So priketh hem nature in hir corages.

Wordsworth: To wander lonely as a cloud.

The Godfather: I didn't want its mother to see it like that.

Keats: Philosophy will clip a chicken's wings.

Blake: To see heaven in a wild fowl.

Othello: Jealousy.

Dr Johnson: Sir, had you known the Chicken for as long as I have,
you would not so readily enquire, but feel rather the
Need to resist such a public Display of your own
lamentable and incorrigible Ignorance.

Mrs Thatcher: This chicken's not for turning.

Supreme Soviet: There has never been a chicken in this photograph.

Oscar Wilde: Why, indeed? One's social engagements whilst in
town ought never expose one to such barbarous
inconvenience - although, perhaps, if one must cross a
road, one may do far worse than to cross it as the
chicken in question.

Kafka: Hardly the most urgent enquiry to make of a low-grade
insurance clerk who woke up that morning as a hen.

Swift: It is, of course, inevitable that such a loathsome,
filth-ridden and degraded creature as Man should assume
to question the actions of one in all respects his
superior.

Macbeth: To have turned back were as tedious as to go o'er.

Whitehead: Clearly, having fallen victim to the fallacy of
misplaced concreteness.

Freud: An die andere Seite zu kommen. (Much laughter)

Hamlet: That is not the question.

Donne: It crosseth for thee.

Pope: It was mimicking my Lord Hervey.

Constable: To get a better view.
[b][u]BENJODSCUMBAG: TO BE A BUM.. COZ ITS THE ONLY WAY TO LIVE.. IN THE TRUEST SENSE OF THE WORD..

kasi gusto niyang pumunta sa TRU para bumili siya ng cube na i oone-winged solve niya!

grabe!!! ang lulupet ng mga sagot!!!

para di maging balot or fried chicken for KFC

Try ko sumagot... eto...

Pajo: because it doesn't know how to fly...

...ay corny...

the chicken crossed the road maybe its just an intersection.shit

alam ko, may jowk tungkol jan e. tas yung sagot is "the chicken crossed the road to get to the other side." whatever.

GEORGE W. BUSH: I don't think I should have to answer that question.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die. In the rain. Alone.

AL GORE: I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken crossing the road represented the application of these two different functions of government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the American people.

RALPH NADER: The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a gas-guzzling SUV.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American.

RUSH LIMBAUGH: I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out there is already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars, and when I say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took from you to build roads for chickens to cross.

MARTHA STEWART: If the chicken crossed the road on my property, I would be fully justified in blocking its exit until the local authorities could arrive to arrest it for trespassing. I am a private person and should not have to be subjected to the "innocent mistakes" of common chickens.

JERRY FALWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other side." That's what "they" call it – the "other side." Yes, my friends, that chicken is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."

DR. SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes! The chicken crossed the road, But why it crossed, I've not been told!

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.: I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.

GRANDPA: In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it overcame a serious case of molting and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

KARL MARX: It was a historical inevitability.

SADDAM HUSSEIN: This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.

VOLTAIRE: I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death its right to do it.

CAPTAIN KIRK: To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.

FREUD: The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual insecurity.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook – and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.

EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken? Could you define chicken please?

LOUIS FARRAKHAN: The Road, you will see, represents the black man. The chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him and keep him down.

COLONEL SANDERS: I missed one?

And finally, those of us from PENNSYLVANIA know the real reason the chicken crossed the road was to show the groundhogs it could be done!

JOEY DE LEON: i complain!!! explain before i answer!!!

STEVE AUSTIN: bcuz STONE COLD said so!!!

gloria arroyo : i am sorry!

ano bang pakielam nyo e trip nung manok tumawid. HAHAHA PIZZ

luvllygaljen:to find its way home. I suppose.

John: Its completely irrelevant.

nagugutom kasi., kaya tumawid.,. punta jollibee bili chickenjoy...

tumawid un para magDotA... nasa kabilang road kasi ung Computer Cafe...

lging sinasabi tong joke na toh ng teacher nmin eh. ehehehehehehehe
sbi ng teacher nmin hmmmmm....
"Because the road can't cross the chicken" un ung sagot! ata^^ ehehehehehe

newo: why not..?

This post is rather old but i'd answer it anyway..
I'm all skeptical about this dilemma..
Before I answer THE question you will first need to demonstrate if the chicken crossed the road. So if you have any evidence that the chicken did actually cross the road, please present it..

Ok, i'd rather answer this for this unsatisfying hunger of my ever inquisitive mind may consume me..
“Chicken” in Hebrew is “Tarnegolet”. Using Gematria - the ancient Hebrew system of numerology – “Tarnegolet” converts to 372 = 3+7+2=12 = 1+2=3. Eggs are sold by the dozen. A dozen is 12 = 1+2=3. Could it be that chickens and eggs were created at the same time (which answers the age-old question)? God’s signature is in our DNA which is also 3. So God put it in the DNA of chickens to cross roads..
A baker’s dozen is 13. The next Fibonacci number after 8, the target frequency of the Schumann Resonance, is 13. Can it be just coincidence that these two numbers are the same? Surely not.

and bdw, according to Prometheus...
The major division in the Chicken Family is between deliberate and inattentive Chickens. Deliberate Chickens are aware that they are crossing the road and don’t care – inattentive Chickens think that they aren't actually crossing a road at all and so don't care. As a result, this division is largely a cosmetic one, since the effects and actions of the two groups are largely the same. It can therefore be nearly impossible to differentiate between the two groups in the field, since the distinguishing characteristic is intent, rather than action...
so, y not?

I'm a scientist...

JOKE! whehehe!

spiderman: great power lies great responsibility

(hahahaha anung konek?????)

(xe ung chiken may power so it needs to cross the road to help the old woman to cross the road...hahahaha)

emo po ung manok at balak nia mag suicide kasi nakipag break ung kabit nia na pang 12 hehehe... ei benjocubist anong cube ung nasa avatar mo?? astig a

Haha. I peformed this when I was in HS. Here's what I got from the Reader's Digest.

Responses to that age-old question:
Why did the chicken cross the road?

KARL MARX - to cease the means of production and escape the alienation of proletariat.

SIR ISAAC NEWTON - Chickens at rest tend to stay at rest. Chickens in motion tend to cross the road.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY - To die. In the rain

GROUCHO MARX - Chickens? What'a all this talk about chicken? I have an uncle before who thought he was a chicken. My aunt would have divorce him, but she needed the eggs!

Hehe. just shared it. From 1-5, I got 5 which is the highest. It's how you deliver.^o^

wait, my answer would be: to rescue her eggs. haha. lol.

To keep the readers puzzled about why did he crossed the road.

The chicken crossed the road using its feet and walked because it can't fly. Makes sense dba?

i.luv.cube wrote:The chicken crossed the road using its feet and walked because it can't fly. Makes sense dba?

No, it doesn't make sense. It didn't asked "How?", it asked "Why?".